As you may have gathered from my previous post, baby boy arrived five months ago. Life since then has been a whirlwind of precious smiles, snuggles, poop disasters and 4 a.m. feedings (why is it always 4 a.m. do you think he knows that’s when I used to come home from the bar? Is it karma?)
I don’t have too much to say…mostly just HOLY S***. Turns out some of that stuff about sleep: true. And as one of my husband’s colleagues at work told him, “Sleep deprivation is real, man, they used that s*** to break Al Qaeda.” But if you are pregnant and reading this don’t pay any attention to those people who tell you to sleep while you can. That’s crazy! It won’t make you any less tired. It may actually make you cry more at 4 a.m because you can remember laying your head on your soft sheets and embracing your full body pillow as you fell into a deep, blissful sleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Wait. What? Oh, sorry I dozed there. Most sleep I’ve had in 5 months. For you expecting moms, it would be better if you set your alarm to go off every two hours, got up and sat in another room holding a 14 lb sack of flour in the dark. DO NOT GO back to sleep for 2 hours. Rinse, repeat. That oughta get you ready.
Anyway, we are starting to get more sleep here in our household. That’s nice. Still, I have discouraged my husband from announcing proudly in social settings that our little fella sleeps through the night. He did that for, like, two weeks, back in March. As my sister said when she heard me admonish him for his joyful proclamations–“Correction, K___, YOU are sleeping through the night. For which we are all very proud of you.” No small feat.
But before the little one wakes from his afternoon nap, let me give you new mommies a piece of advice. Remember that to do list you made the other day, only to abandon it under a pile of board books on your bedside table? Throw it out. That’s right. Get rid of it. And try this instead.
Make a do do list. No, not a poop diary. A list of the things you do do.
1. Keep baby alive
2. change X diapers a day
3. worry incessantly
4. feed baby
5. 50% of the dishes (because that’s enough to be proud of)
6. shower (maybe)
7. brush teeth (hopefully)
9. sleep (time permitting)
If you want you can make it look like a to do list and cross these things off with ardor. You can even use a different pen to make it look more authentic.
You deserve to catalogue your achievements. Eventually, you can get back to that list and those plans. Someday, you’ll get things done again.
For now, though, it’s all about the do do.